Balance Boy
by sweetstacking
Summary: Roxas, a freshly graduated and troubled trans boy who recently turned eighteen, comes to terms that he has no solid plans for the future. Taking a year gap, he learns about himself, the people around him, and that sometimes the path you've been looking for is found in the hearts of others. [Ro/So]
1. End of June

**Chapter Information:** Roxas is a gray-asexual, demiromantic trans boy with a simple binder, and no sources for getting hormones or surgery. Ventus is an asexual cisgender. Axel is a demisexual genderqueer. Xion is a pansexual cisgender.

 **Chapter Warnings:** Trans characters, misgendering, depictions of potential verbal abuse/mental illnesses/eating habits, drug mentions/implications.

 **A/N:** Sometimes I instantly regret the words that come out of my mouth.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: End of June, Here Comes Summer**

– _June 24th, into June 25th_

Roxas knew his life was in shambles the minute he stared at his iPod's screen, seeing the time change from 11:59pm to 12:00am.

It was now June 25th, the day he had so dreadfully had to prepare himself for. In the next seven hours, he had to get up, be ready, neatly dressed and donning a very mature look, for the day he oh so despised had become his reality – Graduation day of high school, and ironically his birthday as well.

Roxas for one, was a person who had come to dislike celebrating his birthday. It had become extremely tiresome around his thirteenth year. He had taken to adopting the all too pessimistic thought, for someone his age at the time, that birthdays are petty excuses for people to feel important. But he was the biggest hypocrite he knew, because when it came to the birthdays of friends, he wanted to make them feel as special as he knew they were – even if he could never afford a gift.

The fact that he shared his birthday with another event he didn't have tolerance for, was all the more reason why he found himself tossing and turning under his covers, staring into the darkness of his room. He shuffles his legs around awkwardly, before sighing into nothingness.

Graduation meant independence, future, college, and new beginnings. The blonde knew that he was a tragic mess throughout his senior year because he never filled out college applications and had no clue what to do with himself or his potential future. Sure, he had passing grades to get him into a decent college that would look good on job applications, but he knew and remembered that right at the beginning of his final year, he had no fucking idea what to do with himself – and he was sure he got that point across to his counselor whenever he got called in about applications, albeit incredibly indirectly.

Roxas moves for his iPod, typing his passcode in before deciding he wouldn't, he _couldn't_ sleep, and proceeded to read even as the sun rose, until promptly passing out around 6:00am.

His alarm blares at 7:00am on the dot, and he couldn't hate himself more.

* * *

 _– June 25th, 6:40pm_

He screwed everything up. God, he was so royally damned by his own decisions. Why, why, why.

Roxas sat in the van awkwardly with his family, his older brother Ventus sparing him pitiful looks before mouthing an _'I'm so sorry'_ before shifting his gaze to the back of their mother's seat. The ride home was so deafeningly silent, the renounced graduate biting back tears from his own foolishness. ' _Why did I think that was an okay idea,'_ Roxas berated himself internally. _'I wish this day would already end.'_ He closed his eyes promptly shut as he recalled all the events of the day that led him to his position.

The day had started with his parents spoiling him, buying him his favorite coffee and then talking to him about college plans. The conversation that morning was brief after Roxas admitting he wanted to take a year gap to try and find himself and what he wanted to do, but left a bitter taste in his mouth the moment the words left his lips. Their parents knew about his lack of applications, and though they were disappointed in him, they knew there was nothing they could do now, for it was too late at the time to get him to fill anything out.

The next thing was his graduation gown. Although his parents said nothing of it, he was antsy and paranoid. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just rot on the ground when he realized his name would be called during a public ceremony, with all eyes on him, and majority of the people that knew him didn't know a select detail about him, save for a select handful.

Roxas always introduced himself as _Roxas_ , always taken the liberty of telling his teachers right away before roll calls that it's the name he wants to be called, and _not Namine_. No one except his close friends knew his real name because he told them he was Roxas, a boy, during his freshman year. So the blonde knew he would be outing himself as trans with his purple gown draped on him. Even if that's what he wanted, now that he was faced with the day he thought would be good, he realized the moment he stepped out of his family's van that he was _in no way_ ready for curious looks to be directed on him. (Eyes that burned holes in his body... Finding every flaw... His deepest secrets...)

It was worse afterwords. Roxas got his seat wrong during the ceremony, and had to ask a teacher to help him look for the correct area as the valedictorian made their speech. He knew he made a fool of himself as he was surrounded by white gowns, the girls' color. Roxas really wanted to become non-existent right then and there.

It became a living nightmare all too soon. To top it off, once he was on the line for diplomas, the teacher at the mic had asked for his name, which threw him off completely – and seeing as though he was currently running on a single hour of sleep, he thought it was a good idea to tell the adult that his name was Roxas.

'Roxas L. Dubois' was said into the mic, and though he heard his friends cheering for him, it registered right at that moment that he made the absolute _worst_ decision of his life.

Head bowed to hide the tears straining his eyes, he hastily grabbed his diploma and power walked to his seat, thinking about the sort of talk that was awaiting him for when he got home.

Which was where he was now.

"I can't believe you Namine," Roxas's mother yelled at him, as he bit his lip to silence the whimper threatening to escape. "We do everything for you, we treated you so nicely today and this is how you repay us? With this _joke_? Do you know how _embarrassed_ your father and I were? Your little stunt ruined the moment we wanted to capture, I hope you're proud of yourself."

And Roxas tried – he tried so hard to say he didn't mean to ruin their moment, that he wasn't thinking rationally, but he couldn't find the courage. "I'm sorry," he murmured weakly, as if everything will turn out okay if he said it.

"'Sorry' will never undo the things you've done today."

And for two weeks, his parents didn't talk him.

* * *

– _June 26th_

Roxas had planned out things for him to keep himself busy with. He proposed art projects, video game marathons, cartoon binges, and Skyping friends.

The blonde took most of the time that day to tell his close friends about what happened the day before, and received comforting words in return. Roxas was eternally grateful. He couldn't fathom how kind people like Axel and Xion were. He was so lucky to have them as friends.

Feeling a tad more cheerful, Roxas decided to open one of his favorite social media sites, only to be greeted with a notification. Checking it, he was surprised to see a gift from his long distance friend, Sora. It was a cute piece of art, thoughtfully drawn with a kind message from brunet that he wished him well and that he hoped the blonde boy liked his hand crafted gift him.

Sora was wonderful. Even if Roxas hadn't directly told him what happened, it was like the boy miles and miles away already knew he needed something like this. Happiness bubbling within his chest and tears of joy straining the corners of his eyes, he typed out a grateful and rather overly excited thank you message.

* * *

– _June 29th_

Roxas turned off his iPod and let out a sigh. Though he was a person who preferred quiet environments, home wasn't really where he wanted it to be silent. Especially with how tense things were. It was a little... demeaning, if Roxas could find a better word. His parents would come home from work day to day, greet his brother Ventus politely and then nothing else was said. Not a word or a disgusted glare towards Roxas. It was like he didn't exist. And it hurt him more than he thought it would.

He thought of talking more with his friends over Skype, but decided against it. Maybe he was burdening them. Roxas was fully aware of the problems Axel has on their own, and Xion also enjoys spending time with her boyfriend, Riku. He didn't want to intrude in their personal space so much. Sora also seemed distant, wavering in and out of online activity. The benevolent brunet probably had a lot to keep him busy.

So Roxas kept to himself, and began to hole himself up in his dark room – not having the energy to feed himself, to go out on walks through the town, or to just watch some television while his parents were off at work.

The projects he laid out for himself remain untouched and forgotten.

* * *

– _July 1st_

He found himself in the confides of Ventus's room that day. They both sat awkwardly together as the older blonde played a game, and the younger watching.

"I keep disappointing everyone," Roxas felt the words tumble out that day, voice breaking repeatedly. "I'm a constant disappointment to this family and I don't even know why I try."

Ventus could only look at him, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he couldn't find words to say.

* * *

 _– July 2nd_

Roxas found himself outside on the apartment patio, knees to his chest as he played his hand held game, a glossed look in his eyes.

"What are you doing out here?" he heard his mother say.

The blonde shot daggers back to her. "You're _talking_ to me?"

The vague look of concern on her face was instantly replaced with a look of disgust. "How _dare_ you."

* * *

 _– July 3rd_

He overheard his parents talking about him behind closed doors.

"...And then she said 'you're talking to me?'" his mother bitterly mocked.

"You should have hit her. I would have." his father ground out.

* * *

 _– July 4th_

It was by this day that Ventus exasperatedly look at Roxas and said, "Don't you think it's time to stop this?"

"What?" Roxas looked up from his iPod.

"This... constant..." Ventus paused his game to look at his younger brother with an unreadable face. "This skittering around you and our parents are doing."

"I don't think they really want anything to do with me right now." the drained teen mumbled dejectedly.

"...Mom asks me about you, y'know. She's asking why you haven't apologized to her." the older twin said softly. Roxas's head snaps up to look at Ventus, who bore a face of stress and pain.

" _What,_ " Roxas felt something boil in his body.

"Roxas...Can't you go apologize to her? Please?" the older twin pleaded softly. "This tension is beyond horrible, for all of us, and it's starting to eat away at me that I've always been the messenger between you and Mom whenever you two have a spat..."

The younger twin's eyes grew aflame. "Me? Me, _apologize_? After the kind of shit she gave me that day? You don't even think she's wrong in the things she said?" Roxas clenched and unclenched his fists. "At least I know how to own up to my mistakes and all the things I've done wrong. At least I know when I'm wrong!"

"Roxa –"

"What should I be apologizing for? The fact that I wanted to use the name I preferred during a special event that I was involved in? That I ruined whatever moment that she wanted to pride herself in? That her precious, precious _daughter_ was going to be the next trophy she and Dad show off?! I absolutely loathe graduation, but I'm pretty sure that day _I_ was on the field, _not_ her!" Roxas nearly screamed. "The least she could've done was ignore me for a day or two, and then reluctantly be neutral about this like she does with every other fight we have!"

"Roxas, please –" Ventus, heartbroken, tried to reach for his brother's shoulder, only to have it smacked back at him.

"Shut your fucking mouth," Roxas spat lowly as he got up to leave. "I can't believe you'd side with her, even when she hasn't been picture perfect with you, either."

* * *

 _– July 5th_

 _'i want to come over'_ Roxas texted his friend Axel, on the tenth day of parental isolation.

 _'sure man. what time? are your parents cool with it?'_ Axel responded moments after.

Roxas sucked in a breath. Would his parents care if he went out? Could they care at this point? What if they just continued to be like this for the rest of his life? A part of him really wanted for them to care, but if they couldn't at least support the idea of calling him 'Roxas' like he pleaded once on his fifteenth birthday, how could they care now?

 _'i told you about our current status'_ Roxas numbly replied. _'i dont think they would care rn. u think u could pick me up on friday at 4'_

 _'alright'_ Axel simply texted back.

Roxas lowered the screen from his face, only to receive another message. Curiously, he unlocked his device. It was from Axel again.

 _'i'm inviting xion too! cant have a session without her jsyk ;) get ready to smoke yourself sensless'_

For the first time in days, Roxas cracked a smile.

* * *

 _– July 7th, 2:15pm_

"Mom knows you're going to Axel's today," Ventus said softly on the twelfth day as he and his younger brother were eating lunch.

Roxas shot Ventus the nastiest glare he could manage. His older brother flinched, already seeing the threatening accusation in the smaller's dark ocean irises.

"I-I... told her..." the older blonde admitted weakly.

"Why the hell would you tell her that?" Roxas seethed.

"She's not..." Ventus started. "She... wants you to... ask Dad."

"Dad?" the younger blonde's anger was halted, not expecting such a response. Their dad had been so eerily silent throughout this time, even to Ventus. The man always murmured a soft greeting to the older teen, as if not wanting Roxas to hear. He knew their dad is probably upset too, but where exactly _did_ he stand in this, the younger twin had to wonder. "Um... Okay. I guess..."

As Roxas got up to dump the rest of his food, no longer having the will to force himself to eat, Ventus called out his name, making the younger twin look at him with a neutral gaze.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, full of guilt.

Hearing the front door open, both twins panic and look at each other, before Ventus hops off his chair to go greet their father. Roxas takes the time to sneak pass them to get his bag so he can get it over with. He closes his room's door, and steels his gaze as he fixes it on his approaching father. The young blonde didn't know exactly how their father felt, but he knew that when it came to someone like that man, he couldn't avoid him much longer, no matter how much time he spent in his room. Roxas strides for the door, seemingly interrupting the small talk between Ventus and their father.

It's in that moment that finally, after neglecting Roxas's existence, the man looks at the young blonde, with a dubious look.

"I'm going to Axel's," Roxas said, defiantly looking straight into his fathers stern glare. He sees the man's wrinkles become more defined.

"Really?" his father nearly bit out.

"Yes. I'm going now."

" _Really_ ," the man said, skeptical and as if he were going to do something.

"Yes," and with that, he brushes past the adult, casting an apologetic look at Ventus before slamming the door shut behind him.


	2. Guilt Trip

**Chapter Warnings:** Trans/non-binary characters, misgendering, depictions of potential eating disorders, drug use, smoking.

 **Chapter Update:** The story has been modified to include dates. The first chapter is edited to have dates as well.

 **A/N:** You have to be patient when it comes to others.

 **Chapter 2: Guilt Trip**

– _July 7th, 8:30pm_

Roxas felt a giggle bubble up from his chest. His eyes crinkled as he felt cold, slender fingers take the fourth joint of the night out of his own clammy hands. Axel says something to him, probably a continuation of the story they were telling, but it became warped and drowned out by their own laughing. Xion slurred a response filled with her own titters, which was muffled by the blanket pile she buried herself in. Roxas tugged at her blankets as Axel finished their hit, signalling that it was her turn.

The baked blonde began another fit of laughter when he saw the dark haired girl reach for the joint. "Remember that time you nearly burned your leg?"

She sputtered and coughed, laughing hysterically all the while. "I almost burned Axel's blanket!" Xion cried out. "I'm sorry Ax, but it was still really funny too."

"You kidding me? It was fucking hilarious. It was even funnier when you didn't realize and I had to yell." Axel exhales a chuckle. They shift their gaze to Roxas, emerald eyes twinkling with mischief. "Remember that time you exhaled into my pipe?"

Roxas barked out a mixture of a yell and a laugh. He remembered so vividly – the last the on his mind when he started laughing with the pipe in his mouth that time was a face full of fire. It was extremely dangerous, but since he came out unharmed the blonde always laughed about it.

The room filled with another moment of laughter, drowning out the worries and stresses they all gathered in the room with. After finishing the round, the dim lit room fell silent, allowing Roxas simply relax and enjoy the atmosphere of the room. His heavy eyes moved to cast a lazy glance to the posters on his friend's wall, then to the lights hastily stuck to the ceiling with duct tape. He felt the music in his body, the deep bass pounding into the very core of his being like a hammering heart. Roxas let his eyes fall shut as he laid on Axel's carpeted floor, his hazy mind wondering if he should even decide going home that night. The last thing he wanted was to get an earful from his parents while high, in case they really did call or confront him. He dragged his nails on the black interior, making a small pile of dog hair. _'Axel needs to clean their room,'_ the blonde thinks when he slowly opened his eyes again.

"Xion," the red head calls out in a jokingly whiny tone, which grounds Roxas to reality. "Are you _good?_ "

Said girl in questioning shot her hand out of the blankets, offering the red head a thumbs up. Roxas sputtered a drug induced snicker.

"Cool, cool," Axel hums thoughtfully as their hands worked on their silver grinder. "I'm gonna smoke one more round. You want in?"

"Mm'good," Xion mumbled. Roxas could hear the doofy smile in her voice.

"What about you Rox, huh? You wanna go? Do you?" the older teen said to the blonde like he was their pet dog. Then, in a singing voice they said, "We'll do it on the rooftop this time."

"Okay yeah, yes," he tried to stifle his giggles from erupting out of his lips.

" _Yeesss..._ you and me 'til the end Rox," Axel holds their fists up in the air in victory, then continues grinding. Roxas politely waits and watches his friend open the grinder and proceed to roll another. He was always so fascinated observing the taller teen as his bony fingers worked so smoothly and skillfully – as if they were dancing to the music in the background. Roxas exhaled through his nose. _'Axel has way too much fun rolling,'_ he thinks.

"Alright, come on you pothead." Axel jokes not long after they finishes their 'masterpiece,' earning a chuckle from Roxas. They both got up, dumping their belongings onto the bed before they headed to the other side of the room. They open the door to the roof, letting the obnoxious squeak take its toll on their eardrums before promptly shutting it. Roxas lets his eyes rest on the door before lazily turning around, only to be greeted with an already lit joint being placed between his fingers.

He looked up with fuzzy curiosity into green irises. The red head used their free hand to bring Roxas's own to his lips, signalling that they wanted the blonde to inhale. So he did.

"There you go," they said softly before shoving their hands in their pockets.

"Thanks," Roxas nodded, exhaling.

"You can have that," Axel grins as they slide down to sit. "I'm gonna smoke a cigarette. Hope that's okay."

Roxas nodded once more, adopting a thoughtful look as he made himself comfortable next to the other. "It's cool." The blonde watched them dig out their pack, fumbling for their favorite lighter soon after. Axel burned the end of one with a sour look on their face, and promptly inhaled.

He knew well enough that the red head only smoked those when they were distressed, which made him frown. He never fancied the thought of cigarettes, but always danced around having to share his two cents whenever Axel smoked them. (Besides, it was always Xion that said something whenever the red head muttered about trying to stop.)

He wondered the extent of what Axel was going through – maybe it was worse than his own situation – but the older teen never was one to voice his troubles. As much as it pained Roxas not to know and not be able to help, he respected Axel's decisions and said nothing. They'll tell when they're ready, just like always, he knew that much.

The evening's breeze was gentle and cooling, whisking away the smoke they both blew out every now and then. Roxas shifted himself, putting the joint to his mouth as he brought his legs to his chest. He took another hit before he mindlessly tapped it, watching the ashes fall and blend into the darkened ash tray Axel brought out with them.

"Thank you," he said softly, looking towards the moon that hung above and the stars that shimmered bleakly. He brought it back to his lips. "I needed this."

Needed time away. Needed friends. Needed time to think in a less tension filled environment.

"I know," Axel murmured. _'We both did,'_ was the message left unsaid.

* * *

 _– July 7th, 11:45pm_

Roxas waved goodbye once Axel dropped him off in front of his apartment. The blonde watched the car drive away, the smile being quickly wiped off his face when he turned around to look back up at his home. He slowly made his way to the lobby door, keys in hand.

When he entered the elevator, he wondered about the possibilties of entering his home again. Would his parents make a snide remark? Would they greet him rudely? Did they give Ventus a hard time? They didn't interrogate him, did they? God, what if they interrogated Roxas instead and smelled the weed in his hair?

Ventus... the young blonde really needed to apologize for yelling at his older brother the other day. Roxas was probably making this all about himself. He was at fault in this situation too, and never considered how stressed someone could be in the position Ventus was forced into.

When he unlocked the door as gently as he could he was greeted with nothing – the low television hum in the living room, and his brother's door opened the slightest. He approached, looking at his brother's illuminated face. They lock gazes with each other for a moment before the younger twin began opening and closing his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Roxas finally said in a hushed whisper after some time.

"I know," Ventus smiled gently, knowingly. "you had that same look on your face before you left."

* * *

– _July 9th_

"I forgive you," his mother said sweetly when she got home from work that night. Roxas looked up from his screen, halting his progress on a piece of artwork. "I could never stay mad at you Namine, darling."

He wanted to say something – to yell because she always painted others to be the only ones at fault, every time something went wrong – but he didn't. As much as he wanted to tell her to apologize too, he bit his tongue. The blonde desperately wanted the ridiculous charade to end, so he just nodded.

"Yeah," Roxas replied lamely.

* * *

– _July 15th_

Roxas laughed, reading the text in front of him. The past few days he's done nothing but talk to Sora, which was currently what he was doing now.

They got each other into a new interest, constantly talking and joking all the while as they drew each other art relating to said topic. They were _always_ talking about it – sometimes Roxas offered up stories and 'what if's,' in return getting excited responses from the brunet. Sora also typed away a few stories, but they both never posted them to the public. It was like they were little kids hiding a secret, which made it all the more fun.

 _'im going to send u the story i just finished up,'_ Roxas typed excitedly.

 _'IM READY PLEASE SEND IT!'_ Sora responded.

 _'dont pee ur diaper'_ the blonde laughed as he proceeded to share his new content. _'just tell me when ure done'_

He really hoped Sora liked it. Roxas bit his lip, anticipating the brunet's response. He grabbed his iPod to play music while waiting, as well as check his email and social media sites. Within fifteen minutes, he received an ecstatic response from Sora, littered with exclamation points and other symbols that signified his genuine excitement.

 _'What a goof,'_ he chuckled to himself. That guy was too endearing.

* * *

– _July 18th_

"I'm so glad I have you to talk about this with," Roxas laughed as he video chatted with with his long distance friend. "you're the only friend I know into this, so I'm probably being a huge excited child about it."

"That's no problem!" Sora offered him a bright and silly smile. "I should be saying that! It's so fun being invested in things with you. I haven't had this much fun with a single person before!"

The blonde felt his heart flutter. He smiled back. "I'm really happy we could do these things together again." He smile became forlorn. "I can't believe we stopped talking at one point."

"Me too." the brunet's own smile turned into one of apology.

* * *

– _July 29th_

It was the middle of the day when Roxas began to think back to a question in the back of his mind – what happened during his fall out with Sora? He had always been curious as to how and why it happened. Sure, he was grateful to be talking to the sweet brunet again, especially since he spent days in and days out the entire month just talking to him, but he had to ponder – what if something intense took its course at that time that his long distance friend wasn't talking about? Roxas saw that look on his face when they video chatted days ago, and it was that specific detail that drove the blonde into his critical thoughts.

He scratched at his knuckles, his worried gaze lingering on his iPod that was currently playing music. He was probably thinking _way_ too hard about it. He seemed fine... and Sora's bright, anyway. He could take care of himself. Nothing probably happened. He –

"Roxas," his brother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He saw Ventus at his room's entryway with a curious gaze. "Mom called us."

"Oh, uh," Roxas must have looked ridiculous. "Did she?"

"Yeah. Come on." his older twin came in to help the younger up and out of his bed, leading him to the living room that his parents had occupied.

"We're going home!" Roxas's mother said happily as soon as they took a seat on the sofa.

The youngest quirked a brow. "But we're home right now."

"She means we're traveling to see the rest of my family for a reunion, and her sister." his father informed.

Roxas's stomach dropped. He shot an anxious look at Ventus, who mirrored his own expression.

That place was by far, _not_ the younger twin's home. He was born in the north, grew up and lived in the same place all this time, so to be calling another place he so rarely visited his home was hurtful in the slightest. He could understand it being his parents' and his brother's home, sure, but he felt like an outcast in that moment, not sure whether he should voice such a thought. It could offend his parents, Roxas swallowed.

The two were already not so fond of their parents, and the stories their father told them about his side of the family left them anxious. Drinking and fighting... intense threats and unforgivable memories... Roxas hoped that at the very least, nothing dangerous would happen while they were visiting.

"...For how long?" Ventus asked in his usual gentle tone of voice, knowing it was the same question on his younger twin's mind.

"Two whole weeks, starting August twenty-sixth." their mother said, which only made Roxas feel worse. The young blonde felt his twin's hand on his own – a reassuring gesture. It was sweet, but Roxas still felt shitty. "We're hoping to pass by any open houses."

Two weeks reserved for travel meant a lot. For Roxas, it meant having to bear with questions of his future that he never planned out. It meant two weeks of misgendering – being called Namine. Roxas wanted to sleep so badly and pretend he didn't have to go next month, but he knew it was inevitable.

He bit his inner cheek in distress as he also weighed his thoughts on the fact they're looking for a new house. The troubled blonde thought sadly of moving away from the place he grew up, leaving his childhood friends, and being farther away from Sora. He wasn't so sure he could do that so soon, but he said nothing of it. He didn't have the right to impose. He swallowed thickly, forcing a smile.

"Great," Roxas said tightly. "sounds exciting."

* * *

– _July 31st_

"I wanted to send you the story I finished for you today but –" the brunet lets out a yawn as he sifts through papers. "I didn't finish it because I felt a little stinky."

"'Stinky?'" the blonde chuckles at his friend's choice of words.

"Yeah, I um..." Sora licked his lips. "I got really nauseous after lunch."

Roxas's brows creased in worry. "Are you alright?"

"I'm better than before but, well," the teen on the screen fixes his gaze back to his screen. "this sort of happens when I eat a real and properly portioned meal."

Roxas began to drum his fingers on the soft fabric of his pillow, leg bouncing repeatedly. "Have you... not been eating well?"

"Honestly? These past few months, probably not," Sora forces a laugh. "I mean I eat healthy foods and all, but whenever I eat, I just end up feeling sick."

Did he have a stomach problem? A condition? An eating disorder? He looked okay, so why couldn't he tell? Was it the brunet's choice of clothing? What about the room lighting? Roxas shifted his gaze to his wall of posters, his mind racing a mile a minute.

How come Sora never told him?

"Maybe you should look up your symptoms," he advised quietly. "You know... just in case."

"Yeah," the other offered him a smile. "I will."

"You have to promise me," Roxas looked at the brunet on his screen. "Like pretend I'm there and I'm making you pinky-promise me. Those are really serious promises, you know? And if you break it, then on the day we meet up I'm going to give you a wedgie."

Sora laughed loudly, practically snorting.

* * *

– _August 3rd_

It was three in the afternoon when Roxas went back to Axel's and situated himself on their rooftop.

"I'm worried about Sora," he mumbled out while stuffing his face with junk food.

"That's your friend up north, right?" the older teen says thoughtfully. "What's up?"

Roxas stopped his hand from shoveling more chips into his mouth. He didn't know if it was in his right to tell Axel – Sora trusted the blonde with that information, and he probably was expected to keep it to himself. However, he grew restless after having the thought plague his mind for days. He could trust his red haired friend to not say anything, surely. They don't really know Sora all too well, and it was their policy not to meddle too much on other people's affairs, unless absolutely needed. Yes, indeed, maybe he could say something. Nevertheless, he would definitely still feel guilty about spilling the details, so he had to mind what he said.

"I don't know what happened, or what's going on over there," Roxas slowly said as he tried to find the right words. "He told me something that could have several outcomes – but I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing."

"You always were the kid who got lost in his own thoughts," Axel reprimanded, and Roxas couldn't refute the statement. He frowned at the older teen, which they took notice of. "Oh man, I'm just teasing Rox," they chuckled as they took one last drag of their cigarette before putting it out on the black rooftop.

A brief silence.

" _But._ " they said.

"'But?'" the younger repeated.

"If he told you something that worries you, and it's making you think _this much_ about the possibilities," they said, a ghost of a smirk lingering on their face. "then there might be a bigger picture than the one he's showing you."

Roxas used a napkin to wipe the crumbs off his face. "...You think so?"

Axel snorts and reaches out to place their hand on the other teen's shoulder. "Rox, you might get lost in your thoughts but for as long as I've known you, your thoughts were always on the right track. You're a sharp kid – got it memorized?"

The blonde's face breaks out a small grin. He lets out a sigh, letting his head fall on his friend's shoulder. "You're a year older than me, don't call me a kid."

"I don't even get checked for ID when I go to The Glass Room," Axel said in mock offense. "unlike your tiny baby self."

"You look like twice your age," Roxas jested. "old coot."

"Yeah well, you look like your twelve," the older grumbled back, poking at the blonde's arm.

They both share a laugh, their backs pressed against the wall of the roof and their shoulders shaking. Roxas wipes a tear from his eye, his laughter dying down as Axel began to cough. The two sat closely together as they basked in the silence, their gazes fixated on the woods near the red head's home. The wind blew through the blonde's hair in the gentlest of ways and the sounds of leaves rustling filled his ears, letting him relax his shoulders.

"Listen." Axel nudged their shoulder ever so slightly after some time. "Whatever you think he's going through, there might be a possibility of it being true... but don't take my word for it. Don't go jumping to conclusions. If you're worried so much, just be there for him. He'll say what he wants to in time."

Roxas nods with a sigh, but it felt like he was just rubbing his hair against his friend's hoodie. _'Be there for him,'_ he repeated in his head. He shoved his used napkin in the mostly empty bag of chips, and crumpled it with his hands. _'Don't jump to conclusions. Be there for him.'_


End file.
